225. Misplaced my spark
I misplaced my spark, can you find it? My once-bright, occasionally brilliant spark has wandered off. It enjoys long walks through creative projects, spontaneous enthusiasm, and the occasional soup party. If found, please return promptly (or at least send a postcard). Reward offered in undying gratitude and many happy emojis.
You know when you open the fridge a bunch of times in a row hoping something new has appeared, and it’s still just a bunch of ingredients and condiments? That’s sort of how I feel these days- like I keep checking myself for energy, motivation, that spark. I keep getting the same “nothing in stock” feeling.
I don’t think it’s a crisis (yet, heh). More like someone dimmed the lights a little and forgot to turn them back up. I’m in a bit of a funk. This is my space to vent. It’s probably an indication for me to reformat and change up my blog again.
I’ve still been doing things, replying to texts (mostly), watering the spring onion planted outside. I’m functioning. But that sense of excitement? The excited itch to make things, plan things, tell people about things? Not there. Just… static. Very mild soup. I’ve deleted my social media for the time being. I’ve been reading a lot more and watching YouTube (long-form content) which I think it’s better for me. Doomscrolling short-form content really spurs that short-term attention span.
I feel like I’m kind of on pause. I’ve been trying to figure out if this is just a rest period I forgot to plan, or if I need to actively do something to re-light the proverbial pilot light. My friends and I pulled tarot cards for me last month and I was told that I’m entering my “cocoon mode.” I will show my tarot card pull below. It’s for fun and all, but please tell me if there are any interpretations I should know hehe:
I mean, I’ve had seasons like this before. It’s never permanent. Sometimes, it just takes one really good conversation, or seeing someone else do something cool and thinking, “oh, I miss that feeling.” Sometimes I wake up and it’s back, like a cat returning home after three weird weeks.
~ in my cocoon mode,
<3 K