168. Meeting the 'lads on tour'-equivalent of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

12 Aug, 2024

The night before, I had such a big crazy escape. In order to get away from a (now pissed-off and incredibly inebriated) American guy, I decided to join the hostel’s Vietnamese cooking class at the very last minute.

This quick, off-based decision was literally determined when I saw the van rolling in front of the hostel entrance. My decision making was:

1. stay away from the Love Island villa = stay away from undesirable people
2. preoccupy myself before launching my escape to Hanoi

As dramatic as it sounds, I didn’t think it was a good idea to be cornered by that Wook Guy again. Desperate times call for desperate measures. In all honesty, me joining a random cooking class was pretty on-brand for me and didn't break my budget at all (considering now my accommodations and food are all out of pocket at this moment.) I'm kinda hamming up the drama at this point. It's all in good fun.

While in the van, I met four lads from the UK. Our paths crossed serendipitously while heading to the Vietnamese cooking class, where their spirited banter and easy camaraderie instantly drew me in.

There were many iconic foursomes I could have chose from when I began writing up this post. Before, I wanted to compare the boys to the characters from the Inbetweeners ¹. Just be super on the nose and remark how English they were. I guess I could’ve used the Beatles or the Teletubbies if “British” was the sole criteria. However, one of them wasn’t actually British-British, he was originally from Italy, but had lived in the UK when he was a teenager. I felt like I needed a better comparison to describe them.

I decided to compare the four lads I had met to the iconic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It seemed easy enough to write about the boys as the iconic turtle crew. To be honest, everyone had a little bit of Mikey, Leo, Raph, and Donny in them. For the purposes of story-telling, I simply used one character to describe each individual. For example, the Michelangelo equivalent was interesting, since his name matched (yes they have the same name!), yet he didn’t totally embody Mikey the ninja turtle. In fact, all the boys weren't totally their ninja turtle counterpart, but for simplicity's sake, it was best to assign them each one. And also, I thought it would be funny.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are often seen as embodying the four temperaments, a concept from ancient personality theory. In my head, this was how I would describe them:

1. Leonardo (Phlegmatic): In this scenario, I would describe the one that embodied the Leonardo member of the group as more laid-back, (the boys were on holiday, so everyone was pretty chill anyway), but he was still chatty and fun. Michelangelo had made an off-handed remark about his friend's ADHD, but in all honesty, I wouldn't chalk up his excitement and ramblings as an attention deficit disorder (I doubted that this guy had ADHD. I just thought he was super happy and cheerful the entire time, probably from the alcohol and good vibes, man.) I just thought he was just pretty energetic and excited about his holiday. Vietnam is such a change in environment compared to Ol' Blighty, right?

In many commentaries on ancient personality theory, the phlegmatic temperament is characterized by a calm and reliable nature. It seemed like relaxed attitude and ability to make everyone feel included reflected this. He and the one who resembled Donatello the most were often the one with the plans and kept track of the travel itinerary. In my opinion, I thought he was pretty even-keeled and tend to move the group along. He was very “older sibling-coded” (I think he told me that he has a younger brother?). Overall, he embodied Leonardo the most so I had to give it to him.

2. Raphael (Choleric): When I saw this guy, I thought that Raphael had a strong presence and a quick wit, often challenging others with music knowledge and other trivia facts. He had told me that he and his mates were the 5th place pub quiz team (if I recall correctly) at his local pub in London. In fact, the boys warned me not to bring up Premier League when I mentioned that I used to play Football Manager (it was basically just spreadsheets with a little bit of AI football). He went on a pretty endless tirade about football, and was pretty passionate about it too.

Based on the discussion among the boys, he had a tendency to make the more sarcastic banter in the group, usually accompanied with a more blasé tone of voice. He was a brilliant dancer, but I thought that alcohol did more of the heavy lifting. In my opinion, he seemed like the most “leap-without-looking“ guy who would throw themselves into big situations. The reason why I say this is because of the story I heard when they left Hoi An. When the boys first got their motorbikes for the Ha Giang Loop, he was one of the first boys to wipe out on the road. Poor guy.

3. Donatello (Melancholic): This one was a very obvious choice. This guy was no doubt in my mind the Donatello in the group. He seemed like the more pensive and technical member of the group. Throughout the trip, he was busy working UK hours, while his boys were lounging about on the sandy beaches of Hoi An. He was a software/engineering guy, an easy match to our lovable tech-bro turtle.

While the boys were socializing at the beach, I often found him code-monkeying since he was working remotely for a his healthcare/health insurance (? If I recall correctly…?). He told me that his friend owned the company and his workload was pretty lax, but he still had to push code on Git throughout the whole trip. Donatello is often analytical, detail-oriented, and deeply interested in understanding how things work. He was very keen on hearing my coding projects. He also mentioned that he has been traveling around SE Asia and that he was in Malaysia prior to Vietnam. What a shame that we didn't meet before.

4. Michelangelo (Sanguine): Michelangelo is the quintessential sanguine, known for his high energy and sociability. Throughout the day, he would make some amusing comments and out-of-pocket references, that I just had to assign him Michelangelo anyway. His big head was filled with silly jokes and insane meme references. This one instance, he turned to me, pondered for a moment, and said, “oh wow, you’re a jalapeño ²!” Without any context or hesitation. Unfortunately, I told him that this was probably the 8th time I heard this joke. Just based on his delivery, I still thought it was clever and funny.

I felt like he had a sensitive side to him as well. There's something about going on holiday that makes people a bit more open to new experiences, new people, and new feelings that they would have felt outside of their home and work. He had told me about his long Italian name and how his sister has a longer and more interesting name for some reason. He also mentioned about how he and his family moved around and a little bit about his father's work in Hungary. I thought it was nice to hear that we share similar third-culture kid experiences.

As I got into the van, the boys sat quietly at first, but quickly warmed up to me. I was the first to break the ice as I introduced myself as I sat down. My heart was beating fast because I randomly signed up for some cooking class in order to avoid a lunatic at the hostel. It was early in the morning, I had nothing to eat, dehydrated, and talking to bunch of strangers. I just hoped that they weren't psychos.

To be honest, perhaps I was just a bit more nervous because it's certainly daunting to make conversation with a group of friends that already know each other, but I tried to engage them in discussion with quick wit and fun stories. When you’re in a big group of mates, it’s much easier to approach social situations as a unit and little ol' me tried to be chatty and talkative. In this situation, I was the special guest star, of course. I had hoped I masked my fatigue pretty well. I was literally running off of fumes.

--

"Hello, I'm Kayla. I'm uh... American."

I said my usual spiel about myself- where I was from, what I do, etc. Whenever I meet strangers on the street, either cab drivers or restaurant staff that have a slow shift, they always like to make conversation. People aren't usually satisfied why I look like this, but sound so West Coast US. I had to elaborate just a bit, so that others understand.

The boys were warm and friendly, they were taking a holiday all by themselves. All of them were based in S. England, with the exception of one, who actually worked in Germany. I thought that the Leonardo fellow had a knack for making everyone feel included and entertained, even without taking full charge. I think that this personality stemmed from his job, in my opinion. He was very finance bro. I thought he was real friendly and repeated everyone’s names for me. It was a bit more difficult for me to remember four different names, as opposed to them memorizing just my one name.

Beside him, the one that resembled Raphael the most lounged about. He cracked jokes and seemed more low-key and quiet. Actually, I think the boys teased him a lot more than he teased them. He had told me that he was working in event planning, basically. He was real into the cool South London live local music scene, as he told me.

Michelangelo introduced himself to me as an Italian who lived in many places. His enthusiasm was infectious, yet he had a bit of a RBF at times (I had mentioned this to him in front of the lads and then he got a bit pouty). His accent confused me. To me, he sounded more English because he had finished his high school in the UK. Well, to be fair, I think when they saw me, they seemed a bit confused by my American accent. I had asked him at one point, what language did he think in? He just told me mainly English since he lived in the UK for quite a while, but he thought in Italian whenever he's with family and can speak German.

The tall-looking, tech-bro that resemble Donatello the most, quieter but no less engaging, rounded out the group. He spent the ride, chilling out, and occasionally chimed in with thoughtful observations. He told me he came from Bristol and Cambridge. Apparently, he geeked out when I mentioned that I was working on a database mapping project with a friend in KL (It's still in the works and we really haven't done any of the web dev framework, but it's coming along soon). It was quite charming.

They were all pretty chipper on doing this cooking class. It was an interesting experience to see a bunch of boys sign up for a cooking class. During that van ride, I just wanted to take my brain out of my head and give it a polish. I was so exhausted, but I knew that I’d have a lovely meal at the end of this.

We had to pick up a bunch of other people in the van. There were a few Germans, two British girls, and a really tall woman from Croatia. I talked with the Croatian lady a bit more because it seemed like a lot of people had partners already and we were the odd ones out.

The van stopped at the wet market in Old Town first. Our instructor and guide, Chef Han, took us around the market and made us carry the ingredients in little cute wicker baskets.

This was the large selection of meat we saw

Wet markets are one of my favorite places

The van stopped in front of Cam Thanh Fishing Village. The tall Croatian woman said that she already had done the basket boat ride yesterday, so she decided to walk along the path to the cooking class instead of going down the river. I was the only one in my little boat, besides the really happy auntie that steered us both. Chef Han loaded all of the ingredients onto my boat. Obviously, my boat was the most important basket in our entire 12-person group.

I had a nice experience time with the fishermen and bamboo basket boat inside the water coconut palm forest. Mind you, I had no idea that I was going to float along a Vietnamese river with a bunch of tourists in giant baskets that day. I just went along with it. Auntie gave me an oar to help her paddle when we fell behind the group.

I helped auntie row here lol

This is one of the most touristy things I've ever done in my life

Once we got to the cooking class, I enjoyed the welcome drink and join a cooking class with our chef in farming village.

I showed this photo to my mother and she was very proud of how clean my roll was. I was impressed

The cooking class was a delightful adventure. We learned to prepare traditional Vietnamese dishes, from pho to spring rolls, each of us chopping, stirring, and tasting under the watchful eye of our instructor. The tall Croatian woman sat to the left of me, while Michelangelo sat to my right. Despite him telling me that he was from Italy, a country renowned for its food, he had the poorest spring rolling skills I have ever seen in my life. Holy hell, I have never seen someone fuck up a spring roll in my entire life. The other boys took every opportunity to challenge each other to impromptu cooking contests, much to our amusement.

Here's a photo of my artistic noodle salad.

After the class, the boys suggested that we head to the beach and hang out. I happily accepted their invite. I might as well enjoy my days at the beach before making my way up north. After a brisk 15 minute walk, I got to my new hostel and was greeted by a German guy, who was part of the hostel staff. I found out that he was from Jena. Unfortunately, since my reservation was so last-minute, they told me that I was going to stay in the terrace on this single cot. I didn't mind sleeping outside at all. I even reveled in the solitude, since I was literally the only person in the room.

When I got to the beach, I wanted to find my new friends, so I went back to Love Island the hostel. I met more English people and played a bit of juggle-football with them in order to make conversation. I didn't find my new friends at the hostel and thought that they were at the beach already.

I walked across the street and descended the stairs, that was built on sand dunes. I looked around and scanned everyone's sunglasses-wearing face. Nearly everyone on the beach was British. Aside from the two twinky French guys who laid their blanket beside me, everyone was literally from the UK. I could automatically assume it in their accents and their peachy sunburnt skin.

I went for a swim and read my book. I kept scanning the sunbathers on the beach, but it seems like I couldn't find them. I decided to head into the restaurant street area and find something to drink.

I couldn’t tell where the boys were sitting at all, until I saw them lounging about on bean bags near the restaurants. I had found three out of the four boys sitting and tanning. The Donatello of the group was inside the cafe, near the wifi connection, of course. The guys invited me to have an egg coffee with them, so we climbed the steps on the sand dunes. We had to leave Michelangelo behind because they had told me he was a bit grumpy and wanted to be alone :(

The egg coffee was good. We made idle chatter and talked about Vietnam. It was only my second day in this country and I was starting to make friends.

They promised to hang out with me again. After the recent events of yesterday, I didn't really have high expectations if people were genuine or not. Besides, travelers are usually the flakey type.

However, I thought these boys were a lot more authentic and nice. Sure, they threw in a few lewd jokes here and there, but they seemed like they wanted to spend time with me.

I might drop them a line later. Who knows?

~ a lass on tour,

<3 K

🍄 https://marblethoughts.bearblog.dev/