195. Diary of an agony aunt
“Kayla, well, you’re quite experienced in, well, heartbreak so, I just wanted to ask you if this would be alright or not…” ~ from my friend asking me for relationship advice today
Lately, my friends have been coming to me for advice about love. Not just the usual “Should I text them back?” kind of questions, but the deeper stuff like, how to approach dating, how to present themselves, and what to do when things feel uncertain. I’ve also become the go-to person for editing dating profiles, which is surprisingly satisfying. Part time agony aunt 1.
I’ve been loving the whole process. There’s something fulfilling about helping my friends figure out what they want and how to show up authentically. I’m pulling out the parts of someone that are worth highlighting, the pieces that make them unique. But it’s not just about apps and profiles. It’s the deeper stuff too. Navigating mixed signals, dissecting that weirdly cryptic text someone sent, and figuring out whether their crush is a fleeting infatuation or maybe something real?
My friends gave me a glass of wine and we finished making his dating profile right then and there
This year, I feel a shift. Maybe it’s just the people around me, but it seems like there’s a focus on finding something real, on actually locking in and building a connection. There’s a collective energy around locking in now, like finding a mate, mastering skills, getting a better body, etc. Maybe it’s the start of a new chapter, or maybe everyone’s just tired of dating burnout and situationships that go nowhere. Whatever it is, I’m here for it. No more endless swiping or half-heartedness that drag on without clarity. It seems like around me (not so much elsewhere, but specifically what I’m seeing) is just an honest effort to meet someone who fits.
I don’t know if it’s the new year energy or something in the air, but I’m here for it. I love being part of the process, whether that’s helping refine someone’s messages, giving someone the confidence to start a conversation, or just being a sounding board for their hopes and doubts.
At one point, I even made a Google survey questionnaire for my cousin, who’s been going on multiple dates with guys. I wanted to track patterns- who made her laugh, who she felt most comfortable with, who actually followed through on plans. But, being her, she took her time filling it out.
So, naturally, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I went on a few dates myself for “research purposes.” Turns out, the dates weren’t half bad. Some were fine, others were fun, and while I didn’t meet anyone life-changing, or someone I seriously wanted to keep in touch with, it reminded me how much dating can be an experiment in curiosity and connection.
I guess I did it mostly for the data, as the data collector that I am, but I’m glad I got out of my comfort zone just a little bit. I’m not “back in the game” per se, but I’m surveying and playing the field. I let it be known that I’m just here for a short while anyway. It seems like people enjoy my company regardless of the time, which I am happy about.
What my post date questionnaire looks like
Here is one of the quality questions I made using a linear scale
If this is the year of finding a mate, then I’m glad to play my part. Being an agony aunt has never been more fun, and I might just end up writing my own “How We Met” story in the process. Maybe in the process, I’ll learn something about what I want too.
~ your favorite agony aunt,
<3 K
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Sometimes British slang is so funny. Here’s a quick joke example to my friend in London:
What is an agony aunt? When thinking about the British “agony aunt” or the American “advice columnist,” the meaning stays the same. Both terms relate to a person, usually a woman, who gives advice to people who are experiencing personal problems. These figures often work for newspapers or magazines and typically write under a pseudonym. Even though this job is most popular among women, the agony aunt has its own male version, known as the “agony uncle.”↩