169. Curate your love
There’s a really nice quote that goes along the lines of “we’re a combination of everything we’ve ever known.” We’re just composed of things that we come across in our lives, and I find that very beautiful.
You are a museum.
Some people will stay away because they’re simply not interested.
Some will only explore the first floor because they find the whole thing intimidating.
Some will only visit for the temporary exhibit.
And some will scan all the floors but won’t learn any of the context.
Only few will spend hours reading into the depths of what’s on display.
And those are the ones who will cherish you.
~evie
In essence, love is much like the art of curating a museum. We consider, assess, and most importantly choose the "artifacts" of most significance based on what we (uniquely) enjoy. The things we (uniquely) enjoy are informed by factors as varied and disparate as our blood-sugar levels, among other things. We carefully display our "exhibit of love" in beautiful frames and tags. "This is so me."
Or, to put it differently - imagine an unimaginably vast wall that contains every interest, hobby, passion, and person to ever exist. The concepts of "self" and "taste" let us envision this entire wall illuminated, with every possibility available for the curator- that's you- to explore, evaluate, and choose from. You look at this wall and you pick and choose the elements that resonate most with you.
There might have been a time when a particular series captivated your attention. I remember some time around last year, my mom was completely obsessed with the Bourne series and we watched it all in one sitting. I actually enjoy watching films with my mother because she gets so lost in the plot when there's complicated dialogue and double meaning in the conversation. This is not entirely her fault, of course, since her native language is not English. Just as an aside, I think it's funny that one of her favorite English words is 'crap', a word she was exposed to when she became good friends of the no-nonsense, Air Force, mid-western mother of my soccer teammate growing up. (Rebecca would often say 'crap' in such a snarky Minnesota accent and my mom was so enthralled.) Even after I grew apart from my childhood friend, my mom would still mimic her. I can hear the echoes of "pick up your crap, Kayla!" when I'd be lounging in my room.
Anyway, my mother really likes action films. My father explained to me that it's because she doesn't really have to pay attention to the story much, just the action happening and she is simply pleased with just that (my dad is the usual film-watching partner). Her other movies that she likes to watch are period films, which are mostly medieval flicks with knights/Arthur and the Round Table kinda vibe, and really campy romantic comedies, but not the sad ones, only the incredibly cheesy ones. Coincidentally, we have the same tastes.
Back around April, my mom was browsing Netlflix and asked me if I could watch the Bourne Identity (2002) with her. Honestly, we were both so captivated by the intense fight scenes, the iconic car chases, and the mysterious character of Jason Bourne... wow why is he so clever?
For a while, that part of the wall was brightly lit, a prominent fixture in her landscape of interests, and so was mine.
my Letterboxd reviews of the entire Jason Bourne series all in one sitting, completed by me and my mother. It took like 1-3 days as you can see.
Other interests started to take over - like the giant list of K-dramas she has to tick off her watchlist, and gardening. This shift is a natural part of curating your own wall of interests and experiences. Our tastes and preferences evolve over time, and so does the arrangement of what captivates us. What was once an obsession might become a cherished memory, especially with your daughter. I really enjoyed binge-watching the entire Bourne series with my mom.
Just as a museum collection is a reflection of the curator's vision and taste, our love is a reflection of who we are - an evolving, imperfect, and profoundly human work of art.
~ curating,
<3 K