187. Conducting my annual personal digital audit

10 Dec, 2024

By Dominic Kesterton, How to Declutter Your Digital World (The New York Times)

I have a tendency to scroll past so many unlisted names on my contact list, usually it's some coworker from three jobs ago whose name I barely remember. Or I post something on Instagram and realize half of my followers are people I met in 2016 and haven’t spoken to since. I felt a bit uneasy looking at all of these random people that I tried to get social clout from when I was a teenager.

I remember when I used to have 800-1000 people on my follower list that I don't actually know, but we follow them for courtesy. Now, to filter out people, I have a "public account" (also a meme account that has been inactive for quite some time) that I never touch- it's reserved for people that I really have no care for if I met them at a party or something. If, unfortunately, they have a really bad vibe, and they insist that I follow them on some form of social platform, I direct my "public account" to them. In reality, they don't care for my existence. They are also looking for social validation as well. If they are well-meaning, but I don't want to them to see my life (via social media) right away, I usually give them my phone number (I screen calls) and if they're really dedicated, then maybe my email address... then maybe they could see my life? I truly don't want to put such a boundary on the accessibility to me, like it's some kind of toll you pay at the troll bridge ¹, but protecting one's heart is always a prudent way to go about social spheres.

Ever since then, I've been conducting my personal digital audit of social media/contact lists/anything that involves people I don't really talk to or want to talk to/etc.

I always ask myself: why are we holding onto these digital ghosts? is it for nostalgia? Is it guilt? or maybe because hitting “unfollow” feels like a tiny act of betrayal? I used to be really sensitive about this, now I feel like I don't care that much. I am ruthless with the unfollow button. And if this person emerges out of the shadows and reach out again, I don't mind giving second chances, if it calls for it.

It's time to Marie Kondo my digital social life. An example of this - I asked my close friends on Instagram if they want to partake in my digital audit and a lot of people were on board. They voted via polls on the person that I displayed on my story post. One guy I met in March? April? May? of this year (it was in the spring right before summer I believe.)

He was a biologist, from the UK, and very delightful and nice in person. We had good conversations. He watches every single one of my story posts. But when I DM'd him early in June, but he did not answer me. I asked my friends if I should cut him off, and it was an overwhelming "UNFOLLOW!". I sent him one last reach out message, "Hi ###, are you back in Ol' Blighty??" and nada. I guess I gotta cut him off!

I felt like it was a bit insensitive and barbaric to just outright cut people out right then and there, but idk man... I give second chances if it calls for it?

A personal digital audit isn’t just about cutting people out - it’s about creating a space that’s more intentional, more me. The best part is that you don’t have to send out a memo to explain why the personal meme account of "Dom from lab" didn’t make the cut.

How to Conduct a Personal Digital Audit (without feeling like a total asshole)

Step 1: Assess Your Social Media Followers

Open up your favorite app (or least favorite, depending on your mood). Start with followers and ask yourself:

1. Do I recognize this person’s name or face? If the answer is no, maybe they were a random follow back in the early 2010s. It's time to let them go.
2. Do I interact with their posts? If their content doesn't resonate or even appear on your feed anymore, it’s fair to unfollow.
3. Would I feel comfortable talking to them in person? If seeing them in real life would make you break into a cold sweat, cut them off.

Remember: most people won’t even notice you’ve unfollowed them, and if they do, they’ll survive. If they're really too bothered about it, they'll tell you (or in many of my experiences, they'll talk shit behind your back, make you feel really bad about it, then you have to have a talk about why they're a bad friend, then go your separate ways).

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Step 2: Tackle Your Contacts List

This is where things get spicy because your phone probably holds the most irrelevant people. Go through your contacts one by one (yes, it’s tedious) and ask yourself:

• Would I ever call or text this person again? If you wouldn’t even RSVP to their wedding invite, they don’t need to be in your contacts.
• Do I even remember how I know this person? If you’re squinting at a name like “David Gym?” or “Sarah HR Maybe?” (the 'maybe' is what gets me!)- it’s time to delete.
• Is this contact tied to something I’ll need in the future? Like your landlord or the number for your favorite Thai food place- they can stay. I have a lot of "[name] Maintenance" or "[name] Pizza place [city location]" on my contact list that I've categorized already. They are necessary people to have in your life to make things easier on your end.

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Step 3: Declutter Your Subscriptions

This part isn’t about people but about digital baggage. Emails, newsletters, and apps can clog your mental bandwidth just as much.

• Emails: Unsubscribe from newsletters you never read.
• Apps: Scroll through your phone and delete apps you haven’t used in months. Do you really need three separate weather apps?
• Social Groups: Facebook groups, Slack channels, or Discord servers you’ve outgrown can go too. I've categorized all of my discord servers into little boxes and labelled them. I also don't check Facebook that often, so this isn't really necessary for me to dive in. It's a whole cluster and I absolutely don't like it that much.

An example of my groups on Discord lol

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Step 4: Set Up a Maintenance Plan

Think of your digital space like your fridge: if you don’t clean it out regularly, it starts to stink. I like to commit to an audit every end of the year. Sometimes, when I'm a little tipsy and downed a half a bottle of wine by myself while watching period flicks, I get all in my feels, just a touch sensitive about people, and bookmark all the people I'm a little skeptical about and look at it in the morning. This happens maybe every three to six months (for me personally, hehe). Sometimes it's just good to schedule a rainy Sunday and knock it all out in one go while binge-watching movies (my personal productivity tip).

A Note on Guilt:

Curating your digital space doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you intentional. People move in and out of your life, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to eliminate every distant connection, but to ensure the ones you keep feel meaningful. Hopefully, the ones you keep acknowledge you the same way as well.

I'm really hardcore about it and delete them if I don't like them straight up. If you're not a hardass like me, the best thing to do is to just mute them. If you mute stories and posts on their social media, you still follow them, but then you can slowly pull away if that's what you want. That way, you won't feel like you've been cutting random appendages off, even if they're rotten to the core.

A digital space is like a living room. Do you want it packed with random acquaintances sitting awkwardly on the edge of your couch, or do you want it filled with people who actually light up the room when they walk in? Curating isn’t cutting ties; it’s making space for the people and connections that truly matter, both for them and for you.

Those distant connections probably aren’t giving you the same level of thought or attention you’re worried about withholding. Most of the time, we’re all just fumbling through the same messy digital labyrinth, hoping someone else will notice we’ve been meaning to declutter too.

It really isn't about burning bridges, it’s about choosing which ones you want to cross more often. Those you keep should inspire you, make you laugh, or at the very least, remind you why you kept their number in the first place.

Go ahead: curate your space, breathe easier, and leave the metaphorical living room of your life feeling a little less crowded and a whole lot cozier. Future you- scrolling through a clean, clutter-free feed, and texting only people you actually care about, they will thank you.

~ digital auditing,

<3 K

🍄 https://marblethoughts.bearblog.dev/

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